Thursday, March 26, 2009

On facebook we've been having a frot, but about this blog i've forgotten not.

After a week of writing in poetic verse,
It's become the greatest way to converse,
Why people ever spoke without rhyme?
its like im speaking for the very first time!

Inspired by yuki's most recent post,
a poem of my own i decided to host,
to encompass the theme of the week gone by,
the story that made emotions run high.

It started with opinions on sam's poor choices,
by seducing that manlock, came a barrage of voices,
everyone had their comments to share,
loaded with malice, with cunning, with dare.

Nothing was off limits, it was all fair game,
some jokes were clever, others were lame,
eventually it ended when we ran out of words,
that rhymed with sam or manlok or turds.

Every word on there was mean and abusive.
Lucky for us, the thread was exclusive.
And if manlok had read it, i can say for a fact,
that after her suicide, she'd not be in tact.

But when that little battle started to wear,
a new one was born, with gusto and flare,
about which of us had chosen a better profession,
to trump the opponent became an obsession.

Engineering vs med was the issue at hand,
and blow after blow on each other we'd land,
But despite being outnumbered, the doctors kept fighting,
with arguments solid and anger igniting.

Everyone played their part in the struggle,
But if poets are wizards, then killoran's a muggle,
for any poetic form he did lack,
and of course, as expected, hippy did jack

(i dont mean hippy did jack as in they fornicated, i mean hippy did jack-all)

Even tom james threw in his two cents,
but didnt really hold much of a defence,
for jokes about sams love for computers,
ironic, like flat chested women at 'hooters'

And the battle wore on, an eye for an eye
til at last we admitted that it was getting quite dry,
points were repeated, and rebutted alike,
and someone threw in that sam's mum was a dyke.

The line had been crossed, and the battle was ended,
but no one was really, truly offended,
more than anything else, it was time for a change,
as people had stretched their artistic range.

And the next biggest trend? Well it suffices to say,
it will be epic, not crappy or gay.
A whole new world with new stories to tell
Where killoran could write poetry, and hippy could spell

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Red Frot Chili Peppers

As i entered what would be the eve of my 2nd week at uni, i realised something.... blogging is *hard* One's days are only filled with so many eventful events, while the vast majority of events turn out to be rather uneventful.

As usual, sam and i continued our seemingly never-ending search for quality companions. This week i blundered again, introducing myself to a series of non-entities and social cul-de-sacs. First there was tim from biol1020, who i only introduced myself to so that the hot chick across the table from me could see that i wasnt another shy indian kid who was all brains at the cost of his ability to talk to new people. Unfortunately, tim was one of those kids who was neither particularly bright nor especially talkative - at first anyways... Later we found out that tim (who to me is a cross between lachy mackay and michael oleson..... not exactly what you'd call the genetic lottery) was in other of my classes, and annoyingly talkative. Oh, and the hot chick i mentioned before - ditsy like you wouldnt believe - like if harradine was a girl and had sex with the male harradine, and they had a child that had a child with harradine, they would get a child that was twice as smart as this girl...

Also this girl's friend was about a big a tool as they come. He didnt do anything particularly tooly, but sometimes you can just pick out the tools. I reckon i hav a knack for picking out tools (you should see me at bunnings) and this one screamed 'im a double carbon infused 12 gauge hammer' from a mile away. So between the general dimness of the girl and the egotistical double Y-chromosomed tool, i'd had enuf.

Still, there'll be more tutes to go friend finding in this week - im hoping sam will hav a dabble cos so far im none from 3 and sam hasnt really had a go...

Also, im gonna join the gym this week.

Anyways, hav a good week gang.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

All quiet on the western frot

Contrary to the title, this week has been anything but quiet, much less anything to do with frotting in a westerly direction....

Already loaded with assignments, one cant help but liken it to the many nights that imala, schmierer, alex james and I found ourselves up in the wee hours of the morning completing pracs on esters (or alkyl-alkanoates according to IUPAC). Just when i thought i'd start printing 'i survived the Clayden era' shirts, ol' uni comes and destroys the factory (luckily, in india they hav many, and it only costs 4 dollars....)

This week started well - we got to cut up a toad... a living toad that flinched and flayed as we fiddled with the fading nerve fixtures. I thought sam and i did a decent job dissecting it - we even got approval from the overly enthusiastic tutor who would hav congratulated us even if we mutilated it - and surely enuf, the girls in front of us did just that and got a big hi 5 thus proving that males are better surgeons and that encouragement from dave the tutor was about a big an achievement as winning GPS sailing...

Still if theres one thing im learning at uni, its that you don't get to see ur old friends as much as you'd like. I didnt even get to giv hippy birthday hugs, which is major cos now that he's 18 and can legally buy alcohol, his days are numbered.
All the games and inside jokes we had in school need to be reinvented... who's gonna play calculator cricket with me? who's gonna liken wide-load women to mack trucks? And who's gonna laugh at alex when he leaves his tie tucked into his shirt?

A little sad, no?

Oh and as usual, the bullet with oleson's name on it speeds ever closer... I can here it as it whispers 'aim for the head, aim for the head'

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Don't you wish your boyfriend could frot like me?

We could argue for as long as it takes hippy to figure out that maybe is not spelt m-a-b-e-y about whether this blog post commemorates the end of the week or celebrates a new one. Either way, its always nice to start off by saying something generic and vague about how whats happened has happened whether or not we choose to accept that it has happened or not.

Those of you who have been following my blog would kno that i was less than impressed with the first week of uni, much less by the lack of new ppl i know and even less by some of the ppl i knew going in to uni (oleson). Still, i can't help but feel that by reading other ppl's blogs, predominantly yuki's and simon's, that i should tell the world about how my fellow frotters and i came to become a single entity.

Alex James: Perhaps the first kid i met in gr 8, he was the tall, long nosed, shaven headed lank bean that made the mistake of participating in the late Mr. Peter Donaldson's class. And i mean late - we're talking a good 15-20 minutes late. Anyways, Alex drew comments from the likes of BG, Cooper, Forbes - the whole knox shabang. But, knowing the demographic, you can imagine the quality and intellect of the insults. Later that day, i met alex at the first debating meeting along with pat obrien - you can guess who i chose to sit next to and who i sat furthest away from...

Imala Weligamage: I first met Imala in chicri maksoud's yr 8 extension maths class. One day i noticed him sitting alone, and mostly cos there were no other seats, i saw an opportunity to make a new buddy. I cant really remember how it happened, but i do remember that it was imala's sideways seedy smile and crazy eyes (you kno the one hashim) that got me in 'trouble' with chicri so many times (trouble in chicri's class was inevitably an empty threat).

Sam Lee: In yr 7, people had talked up sam lee to be some total genius, and i wasnt quite sure who this little einstein was. At the spelling bee, i saw him for the first time - he triumphantly strutted his way up to the microphone, where i believe he misspelt his first word. Knocked out in the first round - genius my ass. Joke was on me tho, cos a few rounds later i misspelt gossamer.
Anyway i realised that sam had been in my math class that whole year.

Yuki Greinke: The stupid eccentric asian kid that joined extension math late in yr 8 and carried around his big gay briefcase to match his big gay head. Everyone loved him and i couldnt quite see why - his attention seeking and overall homosexuality annoyed me to no end. He was asian and played cricket which put him in an incredibly exclusive club of 1. I still dont kno why we're friends........

Hippy: He came as part of the wheller package.... He was like crappy lollies in the showbag that no one likes but cant avoid cos they come with the good lollies.

Max Ross: I felt sorry for him - he was unco and a little stupid. Later i found out that he in fact had brain tumours so you can imagine my guilt. Still, he's fought off 3 or 4 of them so he's quite the tank - woot go max

Matthew Renkert: Imala and i used to hate renkert. I dunno why... i think its cos in yr 9 maths, we had a seating plan with me, imala, sam lee, tom james and yuki, and renkert was merely a 6th wheel in yr 10. I'm not quite sure what happened after that....

Of course, the frotters' fellowship is greater than an 8 man frotfest, but the others dont really have a story.

Anyhoo, i kno that in sitcom terms, a slideshow is considered the epitomy of slackness, and im not gonna try and justify my blog here. But what you gonna do.

Also, jokes hippy, i love you

Friday, March 6, 2009

Some days it seems like God is on your shoulder... not cos you hav intense pain in ur shoulder, but cos everything goes ur way. You meet a stunningly hot chick who apparently has been checking you out all week. She's in all ur lectures and tutes, and is heading for the same future. She really seems like someone you could hang out with all day. Unfortunately, today was not one of those days. In fact, reaching the end of the first week of uni has informed me that it's really quite the opposite for me. There is someone who's in all my lectures and tutes, we're both gonna be doctors and we share similar interests. But you may hav already guessed thats its Sam Lee. As far as checking me out all week, i would be lying if i said that it wasnt true, and i'd be lying if i said it hadnt crossed my mind. But unfortunately for sam, i'm not sure it'd work out between us, and fortunately for imala, i'm a fantastic friend and know that our friendship is too good to be thrown away cos we were fighting over the same guy - he's all urs hashim ;)

Anyhoo, it is the end of week one and to be perfectly honest, i'm not althogether impressed. All i can say is dont believe the hype. At least not in the first week anyways. I'm hoping that once we get into pracs and tutes things will be looking up.

Last time i mentioned an intimate relationship with my gal chem1030. Well lets just say that im looking to move on. I kinda get the feeling that chem1030 just got with me to make her previous bf (chem1090) jealous. She's not doing it for me the way i thought she would... oh well, just 13 weeks *sigh*

Oleson made a few appearances this week and he didnt disappoint. There was this kid in a turban not 3 rows in front of us and the 'jokes' ( i use quotations cos you kno, dont wanna go using the word too loosely) flew like a chain of saliva launched from the mouth of one matthew renkert as he turned to shield a basketball from an offender... I swear lil' turbanator woulda heard oleson. One of these days man, oleson's gonna get a serious serving of rogan josh so hot that his ass melts. I'm not normally offended by indian slurs, and if its quality humour (renkert is normally quite good with it) then i'll be the first to laugh along. But oleson brings the same crappy poncey scarlet-gimpanel mediocrity to the proverbial table... ARGH!!!

Hopefully next week looks up for me, maybe some new, better friends so i can shield myself from oleson in lectures. In the mean time, i learnt a new word today: invaginate. As in " i will invaginate myself in a group of ppl so as to be immune to oleson's perfunctorality"

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Frotimus Prime, Leader of the Autofrots

Well here we are - the start of another blog. Really sets the scene doesnt it? Will it be serious? Perhaps boring? Or maybe a series of words that when looked at as a whole, fully constitutes a sentence as defined by the parameters set by our forefathers, but is really much too long to actually be considered as an acceptable length for the said sentence and is hence non-sensical despite being fully accurate in terms of containing a subject and verb as per the rules of english writing, not unlike how technically sunday is the first day of the week, but for all intents and purposes it signifies the end of a week that started on monday....

But yes, there's nothing like a first impression. Like many of you fellow bloggers, march 2 2009 gave birth to an ungodly amount of first impressions. Of course, seeing as sam and i synchronised our timetables, there wasnt much need to get out and about. There was of course young Tui, the forgotten killoran sister or at the very least the hidden cousin that killoran neglected to mention. And of course there was Phys1002, that stupid whore of a subject that played us like a cat plays a fiddle while cattle jump lunar systems and cutlery galavant about, frolicking with dishes.

Well joke's on you Young and ur stupid double slit experiment - theres a new skank in town and she has a hydrocarbon chain longer than yuki's ex-nipple hair...

Anyhoo, not much more to report gang...
Oh and michael oleson? I let ur racist jokes slide the first few times i met you cos i figured you had been holding them in for a while and perhaps you finally met someone who wouldnt get offended. But dude seriously, enough is enough! Talking in an indian accent loses its charm after the billionth time. No more! No more funny accent whenever you see an indian, a taxi or god forbid a hairy woman! Good grief!